they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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