Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Randomize
