How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize