I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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