Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
