wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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