I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize