As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
