She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
dude i'm inner monologue high
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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