well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
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After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
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That was an excessively violent trivia night
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?