wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.