I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
