some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
accomplished twins. life is a go
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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