just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
