Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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