I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
