what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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