"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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