I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
