That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
