I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
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