so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
