they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
