I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
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