Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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