I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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