y did u give ur computer a hand job?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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