ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Bring me that man meat
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
