its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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