WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
