Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
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