Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
