Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
