Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
