Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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