Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
