All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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