u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
