Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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