OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Randomize
