I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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