She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
