i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Randomize
