I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
