I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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