his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
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