Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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