She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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