Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
