Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Just cropdusted the office
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Randomize
