You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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