lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Such a big mess for such a small penis
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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