well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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