why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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