I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
