I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
