the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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