i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
