We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
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its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
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Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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