my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
