I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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