he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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